#1. Phony Australian accents
These are usually in commercials for places like Outback Steakhouse. It is so totally not someone from Australia. Just some nerd that thinks he can do a spot on impression. Even the late Steve Irwin would be embarrassed by it's over-the-topness. Right on Mate.
#2. The guy from the Lady Jane's haircut place
You probably know him from his catch phrase, "It's wicked awesome!" Well i've never been there but i'm guessing that it probably isn't. Just some place where you walk in and hear "So...how do you want it cut today?" I have a fear of getting haircuts and i never plan on going there. Reference some of my childhood pictures i posted last year. Luckily back then i was too stylin' to need a hair cut:
I usually drive 3 hours to my sisters to hang out for the weekend and thankfully she cuts it in the kitchen. Otherwise i'd be in serious trouble.
#3. Olde Tyme Store Names
Why do people feel the need for their store name to be different. Do they believe that people think it's cool? I hate store names like Bill's Olde Tyme Shoppe. This isn't London 1892.
#4. Personalized license plates you can't understand
First let me give you an example. Several years ago i thought it would be cool to get the website name www.davewirth.com Unfortunately another dork from Minnesota already has it. Guess what his name is. And the worst thing is, as you can see by going there, that he doesn't even care about it. Just some trees, an apology to other dave wirth's around the world and 2 sentences about how great his life is.
Anyway the point i was trying to make, but really didn't, is that all the good names are taken. The same is true with personalized license plates. You can't get DAVE on a Michigan license plate. It's taken. So what do people do? They get something close with a series of similar letters that only they can understand. For example a 1 instead of I. Or 3 instead of E. Then the fact that you can only have 7 letters or numbers and these people, who feel the need to express themselves thorough required state issued metal plates, are over matched.
Sure there are still the cool plates on cars like 57CHEV or LARRY. But i guarantee that the guys who own those are over 70 years old. And the reason they have it is because the very first day they offered personalized license plates, they showed up at the DMV at 7am and bought them.
So in July of 2010, when Larry Schmedrickson shows up to the secretary of state asking "hey do you have the license plate LARRY available?" The person behind the counter says "of course not, that's been gone since 1972. " "oh ok, how about LARY? LARRY S? L S?" "no, no, no" they'll say. And so because he can't stand getting a regular plate that says JZQ 584 he's gonna get something like 2COOL4U. Well obviously not that because that's understandable and is already taken. His will be much much dumber and he'll have to explain to everyone what it means.
#5 Unfunny Kids
Now let me explain. I'm talking kids that say stuff like "hostible" instead of hospital. Then their parents go "oohhhh isn't she so cute"
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